Being happy is a choice and falling into other people’s negativity is very easy to do. Which can make that choice more difficult. I was always a happy child and it has carried over into my adulthood. However, it wasn’t always easy. I had to fight for it.
I’ve gone through many situations where I’ve been bullied, threatened, teased and manipulated. But none of that felt like a reason to stop fighting for my happiness. I have one memory that has stuck with me more than all the others. It was a conversation I had with my childhood bully. Lets call him Damien for the sake of this post. I remember being in 8th grade, in tears and in the teacher’s office. We were waiting for the teacher to arrive because Damien had tried to push me down the stairs… again. I finally turned to him and looked him in the eyes and said “what is your problem with me?” I stared at him with my eyes demanding a response. He finally gave me an answer. He said “I don’t like how happy you are.”
“I don’t like how happy you are.”
Nearly 12 years later and I’m still letting that one soak-in. Some people don’t want to see others happy. They would rather bring everyone down to their unhappy level. What Damien’s comment also showed me was that I did nothing wrong and I should just stay out of his way. My family was my support team. It was the easiest decision to make and I transferred to a new school. A fresh start was exactly what I needed. However, bullies are everywhere. Even as an adult the bullies still exist. I try to spend less time with those people and focus on the ones who build me up.
In my personal experience I have found that bullies of all ages have a few things in common. They tend to lack confidence, they aren’t happy people, and they don’t want to change. As much as I wanted to be Damien’s friend and make a difference in his life, his unhappiness was draining mine. Once I recognized what was happening the decision to make a change was easy. When you realize that you truly don’t like something it is important to acknowledge it to yourself. You are the only person you should need validation from. That’s another tough thing to realize. If someone is being hyper-critical and judgmental… let it go. Easier said than done, right? However, if you find yourself in one of those situations focus on your inner hygge and truly feel confident in yourself and in your beliefs. Then “letting it go” becomes a lot easier.
“You are the only person you should need validation from.”
You’re not holding yourself back rather, you are showing confidence in yourself and being content in that. I realized that I do things in life that make me happy. I live the life I want to live with my husband. We makes decisions based on our happiness. Some people don’t like that. They feel you should live up to their expectations. I also don’t openly give out my opinions. I only share my thoughts with the people I respect and with those who genuinely respect me back. This is also a hard thing to learn and I’m still improving on it myself. People meet me and some are turned off by my smile and enthusiastic nature. Guess what? That’s okay! It is their loss and my gain because I can now recognize the difference. I can make better decisions when it comes to the people I put my time and energy into. I am a happier person because I practice what I preach as well as I can.