I think I speak for a lot of people when I say that getting in the mood requires the right mindset, a good environment, and good vibes. But being intimate extends far beyond the sheets. Truly connecting with someone means relinquishing your busy thoughts and switching your brain to be present and in the moment. This is the key to both intimacy and intimate moments. It is very distracting for me when my brain goes to my list of chores like dishes, vacuuming, and changing the oil on my Jeep (my husband is teaching me this life skill and it’s actually a lot of fun). Building a strong foundation of intimacy and love with my husband is my current priority. So I needed to make some changes because when my mind runs rampant I am unable to engage in the moment. So I’ve created ways to proactively reduce those stresses for myself.
Picking up the house throughout the day will help keep your mind feeling productive. It makes you feel accomplished, satisfied and good at the end of the day. You don’t have to designate a specific day or time to get those things done. I try to pick up around the house as I go. This way the house is mostly presentable which is something I’m very picky about. We all have our “ticks” and if my home is a mess I am internally a mess as well. This makes it very hard to be in the moment. So you can pick up as you go or you can hire a cleaning service… but I’d rather spend that money on wine and whiskey. After all, the saying goes “Irish whiskey makes me frisky.”
This brings me to my absolute favorite part of my day. Drinks on the patio with the husband. For us it’s time to re-sync our brains and focus on each other. Being in the moment is a very underestimated form of intimacy in my opinion. We like to sip on our favorite after dinner cocktails in our favorite patio chairs. We had to save up money to buy these chairs so sitting in them is extra satisfying. As we sit we refocus and leave the work-day behind. We put our phones down and before we know it we are laughing, telling stories, discussing the future and planning our next adventures.
So when it’s time for my husband and I to “retire” upstairs we are fully engaged in each other and we continue to build our foundation as husband and wife.
The possibilities are endless. If you’re looking for a few tips to make the bedroom more intimate check out my blog article Hygge in the Bedroom for some added cozy inspirations. 😉